Wednesday, 4 February 2015

I Am An Idiot

It's true, I am an idiot. I am 40 something , mother of 3, employed, in a long term relationship and people expect me to know stuff, and to not be an idiot, but I am.

I forget stuff all the time. I get into my car to go somewhere and  end up on my way to school or the supermarket when I intended to go to the park. I look at a recipe to make something new for dinner and go to the shops immediately forgetting what I need to buy. I have put a trolley load through the supermarket checkout only to realise I don't have a purse with me. I have filled my car with petrol and had to leave my phone with the cashier and zoom home to get money to pay.
I lose my car in a car park at least once a month, it's a miracle I have never left the children behind
(so far).

I was reminded of a majorly idiotic episode in my past today. At a cafe I asked the server for two red fruit shoot. She put everything I ordered on my tray and as she turned to get the kids drinks she repeated "two red fruit shoot" as she picked up two purple fruit shoot. It reminded me of a time  when I was working in a hotel bistro. I was having a lovely time serving and chatting to  a gay couple. one of them had severe allergies so throughout  their meal I made several trips to the kitchen checking ingredients and suppliers with the chef. After their meal , during a lengthy discussion they decided they would like ice cream as we couldn't guarantee no nut residue in any of the puddings. I duly went off and made them two lovely sundaes.You can just imagine  the look on their faces as I set the dishes on the table in front of them, ice cream of various flavours, fresh fruit, sauce a parasol and all topped off with some delicious chopped nuts. Doh

I have no doubt that I will have plenty of chances to show off my idiot calibre tomorrow putting my car through the MOT. "Indicator!" cue wipers "Break!" cue clutch "Fog Lights! " "What?" can't wait.

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